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turn off the lights
and turn off the shyness
cause all of our moves
make up for the silence
the lies |
the fake |
the phonies |
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Good ways to kill yourself
1 Sleep With Your Best Mates Girlfriend/Boyfriend and get caught
2 Put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger
3 Slit your rists
4 Drink too many house cleaning agents
5 Jump off a building
6 Death by slipping on dog poo near a cliff
7 One pissed off grizzly bear attacks you in the streets while your fightin it for food in a garbage can
8 Fight a Hobo for its cardbord box
9 set fire to your eyeballs
10 skydive into an exploding volcano
11 cement yourself into the middle of a highway
Lousy ways to kill yourself
1) try soaking your head in a bucket of ammonia. in 5 minutes, if you are still alive, repeat as necessary till dead
2) cut your balls off (if you have them)
3) cut your head off with a razor blade and go into extreme ecstacy
4) drink a gallon of JD with a dab of Nitrogrycerin and jump up and down vigirously
5) fart in a balloon and light a match
6) eat the stuff between your toes with a teaspoon of pepper and a drop of vinegar
7) fart in front of the meanest, fattest, teacher while bending over to pick up the pencil that you mistakenly (yeah, right!) dropped
8) eat shit and die.....
9) try inhaling a fart right out of your own asshole....
10) fuck Ronald Reagan-
11) or his wife.....
12) try to do the running long jump over the Hudson river
13) or maybe try skydiving underwater......
14) try to katch the first nuclear missle headed towards the U.S.A.
15) sit on a pitchfork
16) cement yourself into the Great Wall of China
17) attach yourself to the Good Year Blimp
18) buy a $400 piece of software and then find it up on the AE the next day
19) plug your ass with a cork and stand at the edge of a cliff and fart
20) slide down a banister with a long, fat spike at the end
21) slide down a razor blade
22) fuck a slut that has a pair of scisssors up her cunt
23) take a bath with 1 (or 2) fingers in an electrical socket
24) sit on an Exacto knife and spin!
25) cross a highway blindfolded
26) inspect the Space Shuttle's engines during takeoff
27) do whatever your parents say...
28) roll down the Empire State Building's stairway in a sleeping bag
29) sleep late on a Saturday....
30) not seeing that bullet heading straight between your eyes
31) "Hey look! What's that knife in my stomach?"
32) "No, no please don't! Please don't push me off this ----", smack! splash! gargle... thump.
33) eat that cake that's been sitting in the fridge for 2 months
34) "Hey Jack, eat that colony of green stuff moving across your plate!"
35) Stick a straw in a septic tank and take a sip.
36) try skiing over a tree (or around it, or under it, or into it)
37) try katching a spiked boomerang...
38) try picking your brain via your nose...
39) squeeze yourself into a microwave (and don't forget to turn it on [duh!])
40) listen to E.F. Hutton
41) leap off a 20 story building onto a sharpened steel sewage grating
42) sleep at the bottom of an elevator shaft
43) stick your hand ,or foot if desired, in a food processor
44) get your ear caught in the spokes of your bike while riding down a hill
45) stick your hand in a paper shredder
46) have your car compacted at a junkyard, and give the guy a buck to let you sleep in it
47) sit on a scorpion
48) get your head caught in a beehive
49) sleep in your washing machine (or dryer for extra fluffyness)
50) loose the only key to your father's brand new Rolls Royce
51) sleigh ride off your roof
52) straddle a 'No Parking' sign
53) drink a gallon of gasoline and have some tabasco sauce
54) fall asleep at the bottom of a garbage incinerator [you know, the shutes you throw the garbage down if you live in a high rise]
56) cement yourself into the middle of a highway
57) volunteer to be a subway brake
58) light a smoke bomb and swallow.!$%&*!^%*#&$*?%!@.?
59) drag yourself along the road, hanging on the back of a Mack truck
60) wait at the bottom of the Empire State Building while your friend drops a spear off the top, straight through the center of your head (and the rest of you) 61) glue yourself to the way bottom of an ocean liner [while it's going]...
62) lounge in a pool obNasoline and light that big fat cigar in your mouth
63) climb up the telefone pole and lick the electric wires
64) look in the mirror [ha ha! just kiddin'!]
65) go to Russia
66) slingshot yourself into the Sun [not quite..]
67) put some iodine crystals in a whoopy cushion - sit on it!
68) volunteer to be a nuclear warhead
69) <- eat your girlfriend out when she uses a sulfuric acid douche
70) eat a piece of Uranium
71) lick a scientist's chemical lab table before he cleans up!
72) get your nose caught in an exhaust pipe while the car is running
73) go swimming while wearing Mr.T's heavy jewelery around thy neck
74) run a razor blade down the middle of your face!
75) take a chainsaw, cut your head into thirds
76) get caught on the nose of the Concorde 77) in your science class, turn on all the gas outlets, light a match
78) get drunk and be processed through a doughnut molding factory
79) volunteer to rent out your head as a soccer ball
80) eat your school cafeteria's poison of the day
81) slurp nuclear waste
82) stab yourself in 100 (and 1) places
83) try to swallow a (King) Cobra
84) get your arm caught in the wheel of a train
85) your running 40 m.p.h. - your foot katches onto a bloody sewage grating - you trip and fall - 40 m.p.h. - on your face!
86) bend both your knees and elbows - backwards! [snap!]
87) ski off a cliff
88) shuv a pipebomb up your ass
89) fart and smell up a crowded elevator [watch the reaction!] - announce that you let it go - kiss your ass goodbye!
90) cut your circulation off with a giant Band-Aid (tm)
91) mail yourself to the smallest P.O. box in the country
92) pick a fight with Sylvester Stallone
93) try to catch a Roadrunner
94) beat the shit out of yourself [take a spaz!]
95) you take a final relaxing dip in a pool of gasoline - you hang yourself from a branch of a tree - light the bonfire under you!
96) tie each of your ankles to the bumper of 2 cars and let them back out in different directions - Slowly!
97) go to your local deli and by mistake put your best hand on the meat slicer, and of course turn it on - press down firmly as the slices of your hand fall neatly into the palm of the other hand
________________________________
[bleedtodeath]
11:12 AM
l Walaa Emam l 14/02/1985 l Faculty of Science, AinShams Univ. l Female l
