i died a lil while ago.

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turn off the lights
and turn off the shyness
cause all of our moves
make up for the silence

the lies | the fake | the phonies |

please
attend
my funeral.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Yes I did...and it was way better than yours.

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
8:41 AM

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Yes I'm dumb
Yes I let little things annoy me
Yes I'm vulnerable
Yes I get so angry that I dream of murdering you every night
Yes I'm self destructive
Yes I don't give a shit of what you think of me
Yes I can be cold hearted
Yes I live behind so many walls
Yes I hide and cry
Yes I don't wish to change.

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
10:32 PM

Saturday, October 27, 2007

SHIT

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
4:32 AM

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I never underestimate any type of writing esp. of the people I know in real life...a friend of mine has either deleted his blog or changed its url and I'm terribly sad over this because that was my only way to get to know him better.
He knew I read his blog....maybe he needed it for venting and wanted some privacy.

I respect his decision but can't help being sad as well.

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
7:41 AM

Saturday, October 20, 2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5pkkAhETYg

those were the days!!!

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
11:44 PM

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I totally need a different kind of rest... a rest in which I can lose track of time, where the past is gone and the future never comes. A pause, maybe thats what you'd call it.

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
11:34 PM

I try so hard to freeze some memories...sometimes they wander away, but I know they did happen because sometimes I find myself smiling, not knowing why!

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
10:06 AM

Friday, October 12, 2007

I can create enough distractions for myself, that doesn't mean I'm still waiting.
& it certainly doesn't mean I've forgotten.
My face portrays no emotion, but my heart is raging with jealousy and empty hopes.

If I could turn back time I'd do the exact same stuff again, I'd not want to change anything..well, except for how you feel towards me.

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
1:53 AM

Thursday, October 11, 2007

We don't want sincerity, nor do we want to be lied to.
All we need is to find out that our ideas about others, thoughts of how we'd like to be perceived, and imaginations of what's more likely to happen are true.
Till that happens, the world will remain emotionally unjust.

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
12:13 AM

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
12:11 AM

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Quick as a flash, smile because the camera is on you, it shines you on, like a liquid metaphor, perhaps I should get something to ease a pain that's distant like an echo but sharp as a knife. I need a vacation, from mom, from everything and from myself.The thing I hate most is when I try to make a point and the listener either starts making wise cracks or just closes the subject.Thats how I got used to silence I guess.

Maybe I really want to get understood more than I need to be loved.Everything is nothing till its gone...then suddenly it becomes something...probably change succeeds merely in making things worse..I resisted it.... but it happened anyway.You know the saying "it may never happen"? well its a lie, it'll happen and knowing my luck it happens more often than it should...and next thing you know is that you lose the innocence which says "it happens to other people"

I can not always prevent that glass from breaking or hold the (STOP!) sign for the heavy, thick and succeeding sighs lest they should suck all air of common breathing....can you??

I'd rather u tell me u wanna fix my make-up rather than fix what's going on..I don't wear make-up anyway.

Drifting in a sea of depressive moods swaddled by conclusions, indicated rather than established, & ideas smothered at birth , days get a great deal of scars and scratches & my mind wonders: "is this life or something else?"

I wish I could say I heal like Wolverine.

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
1:10 PM

Monday, October 01, 2007

I just happen to feel good today :)

________________________________

[bleedtodeath]
6:03 PM